053: I have only felt claustrophobic once (in the elevator at the WTC in New York)
054: I have ridden jet ski backwards

051: I like to sew (though I don't do it well)
052: I hate to feel useless

049: There is a pretty good chance I might go back and teach at my pld high school
050: my hands and feet are almost always cold (watch out future hubby!)

047: I don't like Las Vegas
048: I once was the grant letter writer for my high school

If I told you I hated you, for abandoning me,
what would you do?
would you understand?
would you realize your actions?
would you do anything at all?

045: I was not allowed to leave work and go home on September 11, 2001.
046: I don't drink alcohol

Himeko -


What would your Japanese name be? (female)
brought to you by Quizilla

043: My favorite book changes, but I will forever love A Royal Pain by Ellen Conford
044: I've been called a witch by a priest

041: I have worked at Anime conventions for over 5 years
042: I procrastinate by cleaning

039: I want a tattoo, but I'm chicken
040: Either I sleep too much or sleep too little

037: I have never known any of my grandfathers
038: I want a DNR on my med charts

035: I still consider becoming a nun
036: I can never be a vegetarian

033: I don't really like sandwiches
034: I used to work in a bakery for free bread

Here's my missing 100 things stuff

027: I am allergic to cilantro
028: I was in choir for 4 years in high school
029: One of my nicknames in junior high was Wolverine
030: I nearly drowned in the ocean when I was 2
031: My family once drove from So Cal to Florida
032: I have dyed my hair- blue, purple, green, pink, red, and back to its normal color just based on whims

Hey All!
I'm still alive, but barely.
It seems i have gotten the flu. It started sunday, and then hit full force on monday.
It was pretty gross, and lets just say I haven't really eaten anything in 2 days that actually stayed in me.
But I'm still alive and getting better (yay, in time for finals)
Don't mind me if I don't answer my phone, I'm probably asleep

Your soul is bound to the Solitary Rose: The
Alone.

"When I wake up alone, the shades are still
drawn on the cold window pane so they cast
their lines on my bed and lines on my
face."

The Solitary Rose is associated with loneliness,
melancholy, and patience. It is governed by
the goddess Merope and its sign is The Sword,
or Unrequited Love.

As a Solitary Rose, you may be summed up as a
hopeless romantic. You desire love and have so
much love to give, but thing just never seem to
work out the way you want them to. In life,
you can be very optomistic, even when things
are gray and nothing works out to your
expectations.


What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla

026: I have felt/seen spirits

025: There are several people I trust with my life. It becomes a question who I trust with my death. Meaning if I wanted death, who would give it to me. Its not death I fear, its living.

023: I have a stuffed animal- kangaroo- on my bed, and she has been with me for 12 years.
024: In APhiO my lil bros mean everything to me

021: I am happiest when on stage or reading my stories
022: Though I spent my birthday at the happiest place on earth, part of me was dying inside

019: I collect quotes that I like
020: I wish I could speak several languages fluently

017: <--- Seventeen is my favorite number
018: Sleeping Beauty is my favorite Disney Movie (probably my favorite movie overall too)

015: My favorite color is white, though most of the clothes I wear are blue
016: I love beanie baby bats, I think they are underappreciated

013: I have attended more funerals than weddings
014: I sleepwalk sometimes

It's not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is one damn thing over and over.
Edna St. Vincent Millay

Soar, eat ether, see what has never been seen; depart, be lost, but climb.
Edna St. Vincent Millay

My candle burns at both ends
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends -
It gives a lovely light.
Edna St. Vincent Millay, "A Few Figs from Thistles", 1920

Please give me some good advice in your next letter. I promise not to follow it.
Edna St. Vincent Millay, Letters, 1952

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling into at night. I miss you like hell.
Edna St. Vincent Millay, Letters, 1952

wishing you were somehow here again

011: I relieve stress by baking
012: One of my favorite poets is Edna St. Vincent Millay

R-E-S-P-E-C-T... find out what it means to me...

I have several pet peeves in my life, though many are just minor annoyances that if they went away I would not ever think about it again. But there is one thing that I demand above all else

Respect

I have been fighting an uphill battle my entire life. I have always been the little girl in the big boys world. I hung out with boys all the time, my brothers, my cousins, my friends in school. I work at anime conventions, where being a girl makes people automatically assume I'm not as good an anyone else.
If I can't do something, I will either tell you I can't do it, but I will probably try to do it anyway. I may not look it, but I can probably take you down. Okay, if you outweigh me by a hundred pounds maybe not, but I won't go down easy and you won't come away inharmed. (ask my brothers, they can vouch for me).
*sigh*. Where am I going with this? I'm not too sure. I just demand the respect I deserve. If you don't know me, I still deserve to be treated like a human being. Especially in my own home, or places that feel like my own home. My patience can only go so far, and piss me off and there will be hell to pay.

Never mind, you know what, the thing that inspired this post is not worth the time I took to wrote it.

I'm heading out to pledge retreat this weekend, so here's your Saturday "100 things" a little bit early

009: I have been sick in some way, shape or form my entire life. Actually, maybe its just that I have never been healthy once in my life.
010: I have attended A Phi O events since I was 15

addendum: You know that saying, "there's a sucker born every minute"... I think they were talking about me

007: Before I came to Davis, I was about to attend UC Riverside, and that was only becuase USC was too expensive
008: I am terrified of making mistakes

005: My obsession with stars connects me to my Great-Grandmother
006: I have 25 first cousins on my mom's side alone.

003: I went to Catholic School for 12 years (and I still fit into/wear my high school one)
004: I have a dog named Cube and a cat named Guido, though neither actually belong to me

The sweetest goodbye

So another Halloween has come and gone. Its the first one in a while that I have not done trick or treat for Unicef, but there weren't enough boxes. Oh well.
Did get to go to a smashing party though.
It was crowded, with black garbage bags all over the walls to create ambiance (worked really well too), lots of scantily clad people (only Halloween in college right) creating enough heat to warm eskimos.
There were too many people in the apartment to be able to dance, but we could stand around and talk. Since I had handcuff for bracelets I often found myself attached to different people, and since part of my costume was basically plastic, Grace often liked to touch it. The crowd made me think I was grabbed alot, but most of the time it was Mischa or Jen, so I guess it was okay. Lots of great memories (creating a Chris-Sam-Wich --- having a Chris hugs between two Sams)
In the end, there was just too much going on, and something happened to a friend that me and a group of people decided to head out and get food. So I went to say goodbye to the hosts and thank the for the party, and goodbye to my other friends still inside.
After I went to get my coat from the upstairs bedroom, I stepped off the bottom step, and land right in front of a friend who says
"What is this, a hot girl just walks out of my dreams and right in front of me"
dude, sometimes I'm a sucker for a great timed line...
but I needed to say goodnite to my hosts...

This is to say that the hosts are the greatest guys on the planet!

Host #1: I walk up to him and say
"Hey, yeah I'm heading out now"
after we hug he's like
"Oh yeah, come over whenever you want, you're totally welcome here"
me : "So, I can come at like 2 in the morning"
host: "umm..."
me "I'll bring brownies"
host:" then you'll definately be welcome here, hahaha"
----- seriously, this guy is one one of the sweetest guys I know

host #2: I couldn't find him at the party, but I did get to see him on monday
so I told him the story about what happened with Host #1.

he says: see, all food negates all time
then I said
"Or I could always have an emotional breakdown on your doorstep and you'll have to let me in. *sniff* *sniff*
host: yeah, I guess, but I prefer the food

yeah, but the best goodbye has to be from Host #3
I was still at the party and he was in the kitchen

Host #3 is talking to a girl, and I don't want to interrupt getting his mack on, so I wait. But after like 10 minutes of waiting I decide to just poke him in the side and try to the the quick wave and be like "I'm heading out"
but before I can move to leave, he pulls me aside and says

"Oh, you're leaving, why are you leaving?"

me: "yeah, gonna get some food and then head home"

he hugs me really tight, and he's alot taller than I am (even in my 3 in heels)
so my chin barely rests on his shoulder

host #3: "We will always be trapped in a hotel room together"
(FYI: he played my husband in the play I was in last winter... don't be getting any ideas)

from the slutty Wiz or Oz group next to us "Oh, that is so sweet"

me: "I know sweetie"
and I try to pull away, when "I want you back" by the Jackson 5 comes on
I pull away but he comes with me, and so...

host #3 "Just one dance real quick"

then we dance, as best as possible with the various parts of our costumes getting in the way, in the crowded kitchen, real dance moves too- slow east coast swing with turns, twists and the eventual dip. He saw a friend during the dance, whom he hadn't seen in a while (or so it seemed), and told him to wait one minute so he could finish up.

then one last hug, and "I'll see you around later" and I was off to IHOP

*sigh* I just thought that was the cutest goodbye I ever got. Most people will attribute the story to the fact that Host #3 was quite drunk by that time of night, but it was still cute. Ah well, I love my friends, they always make me feel so super special.

So I decided to steal my brother's idea and do the 100 days: 100 things about ME, but slightly modified. Since there are less then 100 days left in 2003, it will be 50 days, 100 things. ending right before Christmas... so here we go

001: I was born in the week of the theater
002: I tend to have low blood pressure

Written Nov. 12, 2002

Sometimes I think the rain is endless. As far as I can see, the sheets of cold tears from heaven blanket the muddy ground and hard sidewalk. But I am getting ahead of myself. I have been stuck in the house all day long, urging to run free outside, but the waterfall from the sky stops me. The doors open and close, allowing me access to the outside world, but the invisible wall at the end of the patio is impenetrable. I sit upon the bricks jutting out from the wall, waiting foever, for the rain to stop, but it never does.
The doors open again. I step inside only to feel suffocated and walk back onto the porch. The chill in the air, the smell of damp grass is taken away by the drops of water. You would think it would be no big deal to run out in the rain. Humans do it all the time, why can't I? I grew up in weather like this, living on my own terms and going out when I wanted to. Yet the tiny angry water gods stop me from venturing any futher.
Let me tell you, dear reader, that normally I am not adverse to water, unlikely as that my seem. In fact, I quite enjoy rushing water or the stillness of a pool, not to mention the cool refeshing drink on a hot day. Yet this wall of wind and water can not let anything to pass. So I sit, on my perch, away from the suffocating warmth of the house, waiting for the rain to end.

---------Guido La Bounty

too much television watchin' got me chasin dreams
---

If they can't understand it how can they teach me
I guess they can't
I guess they won't
I guess they front
---

tell me why are we so blind to see
that the ones we hurt are you and me
-------Coolio- Gansta's paradise
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
You don't want me there
You just shut me out
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
If you had your way
You'd just shut me up
Make me go away
------Unwanted, Avril L.
---
I don't know how I'll feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day

It's always been up to you,
It's turning around,
It's up to me,
I'm gonna do what I have to do,
just don't

Gimme a little time,
Leave me alone a little while,
Maybe it's not too late,
not today, today, today, today, today...
--- Tomorrow Avril L.

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
-----Anything but ordinary A.L.