So here i am at home again
avoiding my phone during the day, since I have been going over my minutes like crazy for the past few months

but mostly alone, which is strange since my parents are home
and my cousin just got home as well.

its just too quiet here.
My home has become more of a boarding house than a home.
other than the daily things to get from day to day, my childhood home is not really taken care of. Not that I blame my family, its just everyone here is so busy.
I once complained that this house makes me fat, becuase there is no real food here, just junk food.
Its almost like I have too many options to eat, but not enough to work it off.

This summer has left me jobless, thus a whole lot of time to sit and think.
I've been super lazy, so even the things I planned on doing (like learning spanish and japanese on CD) have fallen by the wayside.

One high note, I'm starting to get back into anime,
Full Moon wo Sagashite--- I highly recommend.
but today, I just ain't feelin it

in fact, I'm not feeling anything.
It's taking me so long just to get this blog out becuase I don't really know what to say.

Its like I have so much bottled up inside me, but I really don't know how to say it.

I'm kinda lost.
I just don't want to do anything at all.

*sigh*... I'm gonna go now

hopefully I'll be back later

it's the way you're nervous when you speak
the way i know just what you mean
it's the kind of thing that's bitter sweet
it's the funny feeling deep inside
so many different sides
but still so easy to live by

what is love
but a kiss on a rainy day
a smile that won't go away
a safe play to run
what is love
but a complicated simple truth
a bond between me and you

--- Play

Now I'm Caught between the devil
and the angel that I used to be

---Play

The Sam Update:

(I've noticed that when I don't have much to do is when I blog the least... whats up with that?)

So summer of 2003

Went through the grad ceremony
---- This was kinda bittersweet you know. I went got the cap and gown, did the ceremony, had the parties, but I still have a quarter left. Its like congrats!... almost. oh well. it was cool, even if I do have to go back. I guess I'm postponing growing up for a little bit longer.

Went to fanime con:
---- It was cool this year. Actually got Will to dress up as a character, even if he did pretty much hid the whole day. But overall a good experience. Got to see my best friend from LA since he came up, and had a relativlely stress free con.

Went home and off immediately to Anime Expo:
---- Sadly Anime expo was not as fun for me as Fanime was. I went back to my old department, Merchadising, but that wasn't it. There was just an overlaying down feeling for me there. I had really bad news right at the start of con(family stuff), but that wasn't it. There was just an overall distant feeling for me. I don't know, I just wasn't in the mood for it.

Being at home:
---- Summer started out pretty crappy for me, loss of a loved one, didn't get into the class that I needed, and a hiring freeze so that I couldn't get my old job back. Most days I just stayed home, ran errands for my mom, cleaned my old room (it had been used for storage in my absence), and watched tv. Nothing much. I flew back up for Anna's bridal shower, which was cool, but then went back down to LA two days later. Lots of introspective thoughts, but thats for later posts

Back in Davis once more:
---- Came back up for Anna's wedding. So now I can finally say "always a bridesmaid, never a bride". But the wedding was really cute and sweet. I wish Anna and Mike all the happiness in the world. It was cool to see people I haven't seen in a while. Then headed back to the house. Been cleaning here too, and hanging out a lot.

Good news:
Some friends called me up and I'm going to be assistant stage managing a show next week and then stage managing a different show the following week. Then if I'm back in Davis in time, I'm going to be working on a show in the Mondavi center in September. So looks like I will be doing something with my summer after all.

well, it's late, and I should be off to bed.

catch you later!

here you go to sweeten up those hot summer days!


Choco-Hoto-Pots
Recipe created by Nigella Lawson
Makes 4 servings

Forget about the calories—just sit back and enjoy the decadence provided in this warm chocolate treat.


INGREDIENTS
Butter for ramekins
3/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1 stick (4 ounces) unsalted butter
2 large eggs
3/4 cup superfine sugar
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/2 cup white chocolate chips

Place baking sheet in an oven preheated to 400°. Butter four 2/3-cup ramekins and set aside.

Using a microwave oven or double boiler, melt together the semisweet chocolate and the butter. Set aside to cool.

In a separate bowl, combine eggs, sugar and flour. Add cooled chocolate mixture, and mix until blended. Fold in white chocolate chips.

Divide mixture evenly among ramekins and place on baking sheet. Bake until tops are shiny and cracked and chocolate beneath is hot and gooey, about 20 minutes. Place each ramekin on a small plate with a teaspoon and serve, reminding children that ramekins and chocolate are hot.

Samantha :

Status is important to you and your ability to achieve success and earn money. You have a need to be noticed and seek status. You have much enthusiasm with a driving attitude toward achievement in life. You are always involved with projects and things to do. You have a need to be up front. You can handle details well. You have a methodical mind. Your privacy is important to you. You have a rich inner life. You work hard to achieve material success through your own efforts. You have a need to be up front.

Milagrosa:


You are always involved with projects and things to do. You are relatively demonstrative in your affections. You enjoy being stroked verbally and physically. You have a diplomatic flair to your nature. Equality and fairness are important to you. You have a need to be up front. You are a hard worker when you make up your mind to do a job. You enjoy a challenge. You can take thought-directed actions. You have a great deal of loyalty to those you love. You have much inner strength. You have a need to earn money to prove your success to society and must learn the true value of material gains and status. You have a need to be up front.

Warriner:


Take advantage of all opportunities. You must develop your creativity and talents. You are determined to prove yourself to others. You have a need to be up front. You have a lack of confidence in your mental abilities and do not like being forced into giving your opinion. You have a lack of confidence in your mental abilities and do not like being forced into giving your opinion. You need to learn to give and receive love for love's sake. You have a need to be assured of affection. You must learn to give 'wise' service and not be a martyr. You can be quite inventive and quite curious. You have a lack of confidence in your mental abilities and do not like being forced into giving your opinion.