Its past 3am and I'm exhausted.
So why did I spend the past 20 mins making a little doll (a prettier, more stylish version of myself)to reflect the new season.

I can't sleep. Actually, thats a lie, I haven't even tried yet.
I find myself once more filled with anxiety and dread. I don't know why, but some unknown action seems to keep haunting my every moment. Did I do something today, yesterday, the day before, that could change my tomorrow? Or did I not do something and that's the problem?

I want to cry. Maybe I need to cry. So true amazingly cathartic release of emotion. I feel the need to break into some sort of heartbreaking sobs, but have no reason to do so. Is there a reason that I just don't know yet? It's happened before. Now I'm terrified it will happen again.

And, to seem to top it all off, I feel like I'm tired of being me. Of actually simply physically being alive. I'm not talking about being the happy worker to my boss and co-workers, or the "snarky ray of sunshine" to my friends. I'm not simply tired of tailoring my behavior to the situation, but simply tired to trying to do anything.

Its been said before, in this day and age of mass communication, have we ever been more alone? I say this as I am only feeling better at a computer screen than when my friends were here two hours ago. Maybe its time for me to take a break. from everything. Though I've been on the other end of that action, and it hurts those around you.

I just want to be happy. Or maybe, just to remember what it was like to feel that.