I thought I was in Hawaii but I woke up in Cerritos...



It felt pretty real. Not so real that when I emerged from dreamland and back to reality the stark contrasts of setting shocked me, but real enough that my waking realizations came with a that twinge of sadness that comes with all of life's small disappointments. You know the ones, the sting when you realize you missed the mailman and now you have to stop by the post office before work, or when the milk as gone bad and you really wanted that bowl of Cap't Crunch. Or I guess, more precisely, the feeling you get when you finish scratching a losing Lotto scratcher. You know the chances winning are minuscule but you still have a little hope, which is dashed the moment you swipe your coin across the card and you see a 10 when all you wanted was a 25.

So as I awoke, allowing the remaining remnants of the dream to recess into the corners of my brain with a sigh of regret, similar to the ones I give as I finish scratching the remainder of that losing lotto ticket, I tried to piece together my day. But I couldn't because all I could wonder at was that dream.

I haven't thought of Hawaii in months, maybe its a sign that I need a vacation. But life right now is in such a flux that I need to move on, or be stuck in this place forever. But moving on seems to always pushed to the side by the rigors of day to day life.

And the dream, it was so detailed in its minutiae that an actual relaxing portion never occured by the time I awoke. The dream had the trip to LAX, the plane ride, the shuttle to the hotel, etc... Then back to the airport for island hoping to Maui, and then I woke up. Not even in my dreams to I get the chance to relax and de-stress.

It's odd. In writing the above paragraph I feel like I'm complaining about my lack of time or stress. But as I got up and started my day, I wasn't filled with regret or anything, simply acknowledging the dream and moving on. I wouldn't even say it was a good dream that I wanted to return to, it simply was there.

I was more impressed by the fact that when I woke up it took me a little bit to figure out where I was. But in the end if I was dreaming, that means I was sleeping well, and that is something I will always be greatful for.

Back to work again,
it did feel nice to be able to write something out again. Even if it didn't lead to anywhere...