As of 10/17/2006 12:32:11 PM EDT
You are 25 years old.
You are 300 months old.
You are 1,305 weeks old.
You are 9,131 days old.
You are 219,156 hours old.
You are 13,149,392 minutes old.
You are 788,963,531 seconds old.

Thanks for the memories
I love you

I'll never be the same again

My love-hate relationship with the month of October continues...

Its been a long night, after a long week, in already a month that seems like forever even though we are only 6 days into it. I apologize in advance, I said I would post about gift ideas for my upcoming birthday, but I'm really, really not in the mood for that.

I've been upset. I'm better now, but I really don't want to rehash it. Well at least not over the internet. My personal issues, but again causing me to rethink where I am in life. Basically, I've been let down alot lately, by those I trusted. I realized now that when people I depend upon let me down, I don't really blame the person. I just lower my expectations of them, then hopefully I won't be disappointed the next time. But that has to happen alot for my feelings to change. I know that I'm not perfect, and I understand that people aren't, but sometimes, maybe my expectations are too high.

At work, I guess I just have to say that the rose colored glasses have come off. I thought if I just did my job and was a nice, friendly person then I could be happy. But apparently life just doesn't work that way. Apparently I was too nice, because there was a rumor about me, and lets just say unprofessional conduct. The rumor isn't actually that bad, but it is untrue. And it still hurts, and I don't want nor need to put up with crap like that. Just because someone has nothing better to do than make up stuff about other people. *sigh* I'm just making myself upset again.

I miss my old life. I miss my friends. I thought I could handle it, but I'm just so lonely down here. I tried to make new friends, but it looks like I'm not even allowed that. I want to go back, but it feels like I'm just viewing this as wasted time. God, I don't know what to do...

and the 12th is coming... always a bad day.

I can't wait for the 20th, at least the escape of that...

I miss you
I love you
maybe even more than you realize