random thoughts emerged today ( I left work early since I kept getting dizzy spells) and so I went home and Batman Beyond was on TV. when I thought of this
in all these cartoon shows when the heros are going around and saving the city, who pays for all the repairs to the buildings?
I mean, Batman destorys labs and computers and blows up buildings in order to catch the bad guys, so... who pays for their repair and when does it get done- since the next time you see the stuff everything is just fine?
yeah, I was just thinking about that...

To many of you who read this, you consider me a baby, or at least quite young
I'm 19 (yep, haven't even put a 2 in the beginning of my age yet) and yet when I go back to my old hometown, I'm old
I went to my church for the youth mass on suday and I was surveying the people in attendance. Then I noticed this girl who was a few pews ahead of me and on the other side of the aisle. She looked familiar and about 13 or so. Then I finally recognized her as the little kindergartener who clung to my leg when I was in eigth grade. My god I felt old.
Then I talked to my friend Jason, who I have known since the 2nd grade, and he was commenting how the youth group calls him old. as he said "I look at the girls now who I thought were fine are now illegal"
and all the kids at youth ministry looked at me, as they called my old too since I knew all their leaders, kinda funny. Now I think my tank top, drawstring khaki pants and everything were fine, and then all the blue nail polish, black and tan platform sandals, and red hair, and you start to scare a few of the parishoners.
but the moment that made me think of the quote "I'm the girl your mother warned you about" was when I started my car (within audio distance of these sweet impressionable high school kids) and "Sandstorm" starts blasting over the speakers, I look back to see Jason laughing, and those high school kids a little bit shell shocked
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - (sorry, I never cared for my church much anyway)
But to add to my aged story, I went back to my high school today (after picking up something from my elementary school to which I was the subject of comment but two moms I have known since I was six)
and what in High school makes you feel old... not the fact that all the students are different, that is inevitable and you know that, but when you go back and all your teachers have left. I was talking to the receptionist and she told me that all of my favorite teachers have gotten jobs at other schools.
Hey Ms Witz - what happened to me coming back with a honda of blue
oh well, life goes on

I'm back in LA now
thats why this sucker hasn't been updated in quite some time. Things are a little hectic now, but soon they will be getting into a new routine. So instead of boring you guys with daily antics of myself, I just reflect on stuff
(but if you really want to know what I'll be up to think :wake up, drive to work, work, drive home, sleep: with the occasional tv show or movie inbetween)
sorry to everyone I miss talking to online, my comp is still not set up here... may 'rents have decided that my room is better off used for storage, and you would not believe the amount of crap this is sitting in my house. Lets just say that it is a 2 story 5 bedroom house, that three people and a dog barely have enough room to live in.
Well I got home on Sunday morning, after leaving SF (foster city- actually) to drive back down
I was determined to stay awake and to keep Kalen awake since he was driving for our 6 hours drive home. He and I had a lot of interesting conversation. We talked about stuff from A phi O to family to just life in general. Like what we were going to do later in life (Kalen will be a Doctor who acts (think Patch Adams) and I will play a doctor on TV)!!
Everything, I really enjoyed it, even dealing with deaths in the family and attempting to understand the minds of our siblings.
It was very educational and although many feelings of mine are still unresolved, it felt good to let someone know about it.

For those who read my blog here is some free food
"Togo's is giving away FREE SANDWICHES on June 20th. That's right - FREE!We've done some wacky things before but nothing like
this. So on June 20th, just walk into your local Togo's shop and get a delicious, handmade, perfectly crafted Togo's sandwich for FREE.
There's only one catch (there always is). We want you to spread the word. Wewant to give away as many sandwiches as possible (hmm, sounds like Guinness Book of World Records to me...). So forward this message like mad and mark June 20th on your calendar. We'll see you there.

West Coast Togo's
Free California Club - West Coast
http://www.togosspeedlunch.com/images/email/togos_california_club2.jpg
This sandwich comes piled high with ham, turkey, bacon, cheddar
cheese and an amazing blue cheese spread, plus lettuce, tomatoes, onions,
pickles and pepperoncinis on our signature bread.

June 20, 2001
5 p.m. - 8 p.m."

A friend of mine actually called Togo's to find out if this was for real, and they told him that it was! FREE FOOD
and for those of you who will still be in Davis like me... remember that there are TWO Togos in Davis (one is downtown and in marketplace)!

FINISHED!!!!!!!!!
I have now successfully completed the Harry Potter series to date.
through distractions of television and the computer I have finished the 4th book in umm... lets see... 2 days i guess, maybe 3
Now i need to study, well memorize lines, for my last finals, and strech my back from being hunched over a book all day long. But its so good! what can I say, I laughed, I cried, my mind kept spinning in circles. but now seriously
I need to get some work done
Oh yeah, and I should eat something too

can't blog now
spent all day reading
10 pages to go...
what book?
why the fourth Harry Potter book, its only 734 pages long

Ooooo
adding on to this
I have always dreamed of being in what I call an epic movie.
I mean, being is a movie that is part of a legacy. Like I would love to be a part of the Harry Potter movie... except the lead female role is blonde and umm... like 11. But you know what I mean. Like Natalie Portman in Star Wars, or Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider. Just to be something like that.
Well hopefully good
I don't want to end up like Mark Hamill, where you can only see me as one role for the rest of my life
But hey, if I can make movies that big... I can live off all the merchandising!

So I went to see a knights tale today with Christina... yay! Tuesday discount.
but that is not what I am going to blog about.. I will blog of my (and chrsitina's) current obsession
For, before the movie began, we witnessed the trailer to the new Harry Potter movie.
yes my friends, we have been firmly sucked into the world of Muggles, Hogwarts, You-know-who, and Quidditch.
Now some may scoff, they just haven't read it
now many will know exactly what I am talking about.
This stuff is awesome... its the stuff I used to dream of as a little kid, and still do today. Of magic, and wizards and witches and creatures you could never imagine, and flying around on broomsticks.
I have to force myself to put the books down and get some homework done, are even to remember to eat. I take them everywhere, and if you have seen me recently you would know that this is true.
Now I don't want to spoil anything for anyone out there... but I do know on November 16 I will be at a movie theatre watching this movie.

Wow
finals are upon us and everyone is stressing. Me... I took one yesterdayand I just want to say something
I LOVE the theatre department.
So I have this super hard final right- theatre history- (156A) from Greeks to 1650
and the day before, I head over to a friends house where a whole group of us from our class is getting together and going over the terms for the test. after hours of studying together in the absurd heat, I take a few people home, and then head home myself. All of us leave with the promise of meeting up again two hours before our final to study a bit more.
I show up on Saturday (OK, saturday finals should be outlawed) and drive to the parking lot behind the theatre and across the creek, where there are tons of spots. As I walk back I see people acting like vultures trying to get spots in the other lots. And so I go into the green room and there are a few people there studying. I join in... bust out my ginger men cookies and share, soon we run out.
Now this is why I love the department
right when people are beginning to complain that they are hungry. My Professor walks in (thats right, the professor, not the TA) and says "I figured you guys could use a break and a chocolate fix" and she dumps bags of candy on the table and then leaves saying "see you in a little bit" All of us are ravenous and attack the bags of pretzles, twix, snickers, and assorted hersey miniatures.
Now I don't know about you, but I don't know of any other teachers that would
a) bring you absurd amounts of candy before a final- just to give you a break
b) makes fun of how many notes they give (she always says "now that your hands are about to fall off from the amount of writing you just did")
c) (this holds true for most of the teachers here) they don't like it when you call them by their last names or Professor. Like I have Diane's class, and Janelle's class, and John's class, and Darrell's class... instead of Dr. Sol's class, Professor Reinelt's class, Professor Iacovelli's class, or Professor Winn's class.
d) a teacher that allows you to make snide remarks about the things that she is teaching in the middle of class, and will agree with you.
hee hee, there are stories from cast parties too about directors... hee hee
but anyways
They are awesome
and now... I need to sort thorough 2 spindles of anime
bye for now!

this one is going to be a downer so bear with me,
its just a quick glimpse into the inner workings of my mind
and keep all reactions till the end of the blog please
If there was one thing that runs through my head many times is the thought that I wish I were as beautiful as people like to tell me that I am. Now I know what some of you may be thinking, its the same thing that everyone says when a comment is made like this
you're probably going "but you are pretty, etc... you just have to realize it"
well the thing is that I don't realize it.
I mentioned before that I turned back into a pumpkin after banquet becuase that is how I actually felt. Time for the me in the fancy dress and curly hair and make-up to go back to plain ol' me behind the black framed glasses.
There are good days and there are the bad days. Mostly bad. You talk about bad hair days, well its just bad me days.
Plus all the stuff that I have to deal with, when I feel that my own body is trying to kill me.
Now I have been wearing glasses since I was 2, so you tend to get used to them. Even though now I have the option of contacts, I still keep the glasses. Why? well for one I like to sleep and i don't want to have to get up in the morning to put contacts in. Second, I will openly admit to the fact that I hide behind my glasses. They make me feel safe. And I am not willing to give up that security just yet.
I have extremely dry skin, now you may think that this isn't that big of a problem. That some lotion might clear it up, just like it does for you. Sorry, but it doesn't work that way for me, no matter how much I wish it did. Sometimes lotions, no matter how often or how much I put on, just don't work for me. I need to use the advanded healing stuff in order to just feel better. Thats why all the lotion gift baskets that I have are still full, even though I do really appreciate them . But the big thing about this, it the pain.
Dry skin being a pain you may think... this is what I mean. Its when your skin is so dry that it actually begins to bleed. Or when your skin is so dry that it stings to put lotion on. When you cry becuase it hurts so bad, but you know that you have to do it so that it will get better someday. And yet everytime that it seems to get better, it never goes away, it comes back again. And then everyone has their own remedy and are convinced that it will work for you. And while their heart is in the right place, it sometimes just doesn't work.
All this, and not to mention that fact that I treat my body horribly, ie not eating right if even not eating at all, getting little sleep, and stress which I give myself too much of.
I stress for others as well as myself. I stress that my cousin is asking me for money beck in the Philippines becuase she doesn't have enought to feed the family there... she takes care of them and shes only 21. I stress that I will never truly be able to follow my dream because the life in the theatre and film is so unsecure, and therefore I would end up going to law school and working behind a desk for the rest of my life. I stress becuase I look at everything that has been set before me, all the opportunities and all the gifts that I have, and I worry that I will screw them up.
now I am off topic... well there was not real topic to begin with. So to anyone who may stumble upon this, realize that this may be the reason why I blank out into space with a sad look on my face. Or why I would suddenly give hugs to those around me without any apparent context. Or why sometimes I act very goofy in the face of big events. Many people have told me that I am happy all the time, and that it is cute. I thank you for that.
but I know now that this facade is starting to give way a little,. and it is getting harder to keep up everyday. So when I give that hug, or that look that kinda make you wonder what is going on in my brain, or when I respond "fine" when you ask me whats wrong. YOu and I both know that I am not fine, but I'll get though it
somehow I always do.

SOOOOOOOOOOO SLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYY
yep that is me being really tired.
So banquet was cool and I got home around 3:30am. then I had to turn back into a pumpkin again, and take off my make-up and hair and contacts and go back to being plain old me. So after removing the like 30 bobbie pins from my hair it was about 4am and I hit the bed. my alarms went off at 1030 and me, being me, kept hitting the snooze button since I knew that I wasn't needed at the theater till 1230. Well 11:50 rolls around and suddenly i sit up in bed with my heart beating fast and panic on my face
I needed to return the DVD to Blockbuster by noon.
So i am running around my room as quickly as possible grabbing my theater blacks (the black clothes I always wear so the audience wont see you onstage when you are shifting sets- for those who might not know) and tossing on shoes and jumping in the car to drive the few miles to blockbuster at Marketplace. I get there just in time to drop the DVD off ("What women want"- if you are curious) it was like 1203 or something and there were a whole lot more people dropping thier stuff off too.
Then I headed over to safeway to get candy for the cast and crew of Faustus- i was feeling bad since I left them to go to banquet- I wanted to get them hugs and kisses. (aww how cute) and safeway was out of kisses! I went next door to longs and got them there.
Now it was like 1210 and I was starving. The last thing I ate was the salmon at banquet the night before, and that was around 7.
But since I couldn't get a hold of anyone in the theater and there was too long of a line at Jack in the Box, I just skipped food. (Sorry Christina! I know you get mad that I don't eat).
SO the final play goes and its now 4pm. Still hungry but now I have to strike the set. (take everything down and move it to storage) my job was to take up the floor with a couple of other people. You see for this play they fitted a hardwood floor above the normal floor. So with a electric drill with a screw bit in my hand, we set upon taking up the floor (out from under the lighting crew who was doing their job)and finally, after working really hard we finished taking down the stage by 6pm
Since I am in no state of mind to think since I am so tired at this point. I pick up Christina and we go watch Moulin Rouge. We got some jack in the box since its now its been 24 hours since I ate. The movie was GREAT. The first half hour looks like they were having too much fun with the editing effects. But once the story actually begins it really takes off. So good movie and then I take Christina home.
I sit in front of my comp, and after like 2 hours of getting it to work correctly (imesh makes my computer crash). I set upon my paper for Drama 156A: history of theatre from Greek to 1650. (of course when I got writers block I blogged) Now I think that the first four pages of the paper are good, but past that I was streching. Then I had to write a one page critique on Faustus and that was crap since I wrote it at four in the morning.
I wake up this morning to drop off another DVD to blockbuster (have the 30 DVD- 30 days deal) and then come home to catch the bus to go to school.I keep falling asleep in my first class, and I think I'm getting sick. (So is my lil bro Sarah- maybe its a family thing) I turn in my papers and then go to Coffee House to sit with my A Phi O peeps. For those ofyou who don't come to Davis, Coffee House is like the cafeteria/food area in the Student Union. so its loud at times, especially around noon, which is when I was there. I had a whole bunch of time to kill so I ate the lunch that I brought from home (Chef Boyardee) and my soda from Costco (mmm... simply cola) and then,in the midst of being tired and sick
I fall asleep on the coffee house table.
Now this is not a comforable position, I am cold, sore, surrounded by noise, the table is dirty, and at any minute booger is sitting there able to take a picture of me. I would think I would sleep a really light sleep, waking up whenever someone moved or said something. NOPE I was gone... I woke up and where Kevin was sitting is now Kimi, where Christine was sitting is now John, at least booger is still there. I look at the clock and see that I have been sleeping for like 45 minutes. so what do I do... I go back to sleep in my uncomfortable position and wake up later. (thanks christina for letting me borrow your sweatshirt)
I got to my class and my teacher made up stay, then I finally got home.
So now it is getting late again and I don't want a repeat performance tomorrow
G'night everybody

Hey all
I don't have time to blog about much right now
I just wanted to say how happy I am that everything that was taking all my time is finally finished
banquet was last night, and it was great (Thanks Mar, Zung, Milly, Kuya Willie, Cynthina, and everyone else who worked so hard) My dress was finally finished in time, even though I finished it like 3 hgour before I needed to wear it.
but the greatest thing is

"FAUSTUS IS GONE"
that is right, the play that has sucked the life out of me is now ended, after weeks of dealing with a jerk director (ok I have no real right to say that since he never siad anything truly bad to me, but he has done a whole bunch of bad stuff. Plus giving acting notes through a technical rehearsal) after a two hour strike in which I have to take a whole lot of floorboards up (grr...) I got to go home and do something I really needed to do

my homework

now that school is coming to a close for the year all my papers are due and finals are coming up
So now I'm back to my paper comparing the theater techiniques of Classical Japanese Noh theatre to that od the Elizabethan Reniassance, using Shakespeare's Hamlet and Kan'ami's Matsukaze . And if you think I'm joking.. I'm not