Back at work again, and for some reason my back really hurts
man, I'm old now.

I didn't get good sleep last night, which sucks because I was having good sleep for the past few days.

So I went to the doctor on monday,because my left ear started to feel weird. Like I couldn't realize the pressure on it. And everything I heard through it was muffled. So the doctor said it looks like the beginning of an inner ear infection and I'm on antibiotics for the next 10 days. There's a little blockage too, so that will have to be taken care of after the 10 days.

As for the rest of my body, I really need to get to exercising or something. Its sore, and I just get to tired. I really haven't done anything strenuous lately, so I don't know why its behaving this way.

Its weird, I'm actually glad to have work (of course, I'm happy to have a paycheck), but it also gives me something to do. Because I'm super good at wasting a day away, and then regretting it later. like "damn, I should have done my laundry, or I should have cleaned the bathroom".

I'm way more progductive when I have alot to do.

Oh well. I just need to get off my butt and do stuff. JET got back to me and I'm on the alternate list, which means I'm still waiting to see if I get to go. Which sucks. I mean, I almost would have preferred a "no, too bad" over this waiting list. Just so that I know, I tried, it didn't work out, and now I can move on. So I'm going to pretend its a no, and try to find the next path I'm going to take in life.

Maybe after a nap...

(jk, can't nap, need to work both jobs today... )

Here's something I have done in a while
Blog from work.
Don't worry, I'm actually being a good worker and have finished a bunch of work for today, and now I'm just waiting for more files to come in.

I feel weird. Physically. not sick or anything, just a little slow. Especially over the past month I've been noticing that I can't get to sleep at night, usually finally hitting REM sleep past 5 am, and now it usually takes me a good hour to get out of bed in the morning, regardless of what time I need to be up. I even need to set my alarm now if I want to be out of bed before 2pm. Now I know I love to sleep, but this trouble waking up seems to be more from necessity than from laziness. (Though I admit to being incredibly lazy).
I can't eat much anymore, and I don't ever seem to have cravings for anything. Like I still enjoy the taste of good food and what not, but I never am "in the mood for bbq, or italian" or anything like that anymore.
And finally it feels like my brain has been slipping. Like I'm making small but stupid mistakes at work and at home. I'm reading the wrong line for directions on paper, or mixing up my lefts and rights. Its like my brain has suddenly hit a traffic jam on the freeway.

I'm hoping that if I make a conscience effort I can bring myself back up to speed. Hopefully writing again will help stimulate something. I'm trying to cook at home, so maybe that will help the appetite thing. The sleep thing may be the biggest problem though. I tried a sleep aid on night, and ended up throwing up and having to go home early from work the next day. (Which is weird, 'cause its a really mild sleep aid, and I had no major issues with it before- It was a combination of many factors, and I think that just pushed it over the edge). Hopefully if I can get myself out of bed earlier each day, I can eventually get myself to sleep at the end.

So, talk to you later, my head is a little swimmy, and 2 files have appeared on my desk.

yay work!