hey all,

sorry I haven't been around. not that there are many of you who read this. but certain people *cough* Christina *cough* remind me that I haven't updated in a while.
but life has been busy, and I haven't had the internet for a while. The account that I use at home which was piggy backed off another account went down, so bye bye internet for me. We tried Juno for a little bit, only to find out that there is a 10 hour limit to its free services. and since I don't have a job to swipe internet connection from during the day. I was stuck... internet withdrawal to the max.

as for updates. as much as i would like to say life has been peachy, but it really hasn't.

been stuck at home with nothing to do.
really, can't do anything because I have to babysit the dog, and if I leave him in the bathroom, he comstantly whines.
But even if I did go out where would I go.
I'm alone which sucks, and I have no money, so what am I to do.

in addition to the internet going down, my old e-mail addy went down too. But alot of my old mail is still sent there, and i can't get to it to tell people to forward messages. sucks. seriously don't know what I am missing.

my aunt is in the hospital. nothing serious, that we know of yet, but she is so stubborn that she doesn't listen to doctors or any advice that is given to her. She was admitted because her blood pressure was over twice what the normal limit should be. its weird, 'cause we visit her every day and everything seems exactly the same except for the location. she gives me and my cousin the same lectures and everything... its just the waiting.

i got a job finally. at the DWP (dept. of Water and Power in LA). but that means for the next month I need to sleep over at my cousins house everyday and be away from home. Its not too bad, just the fact that it is taking so long to get it. I interviewed, they called me a week later, to tell me that I got the job and they are filling out the paperwork. Now a week later, I still haven't heard anything. At this rate I'm gonna work for a week and then have to go back up to Davis.

my cousin is sorta being harassed at work. Not really, its just one co-worker that is making the work environment uncomfortable for her and other workers. The co-worker is really slow in getting things done and refuses to take responsibility for any mistakes and no one knows how to approach her about it. my cousin gets upset about it, and really can't do anything. so makes me unhappy too.

summer has called upon me to spend alot more time with my family. And I mean my WHOLE family, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. And with just as many good times as bad, life still is stressful. alot of times they treat me like I am still a child, and/or expect me to serve them hand and foot. many times i find myself just holding my tongue and walking away.

in these family outing I hear the trials and tribulations of one particular cousin. Currently her and her boyfirend are fighting. which is sad, she may bring alot of things upon herself, but she doesn't deserve to be treated the way she does. Just tried to grow up too fast for her own good I guess.

In listening to these conversations, amongst the "girls"- 2 female cousins, myself, and my cousin's gf. --- i sit and realize i am in no place to say anything since I am the only single on in the group. (sorry my marriage doesn't count in this scenario) Not that I am looking or anything like that, but what a way to stick out like a sore thumb.

recently I have acquired a wonderful ear infection. Went to the doctor and am currently taking antibiotics, and hopefully its getting better. but right now I cannot hear out of my right ear... which is a pain whenever I answer the phone. But the pressure on my inner ear makes me dizzy all the time, not to mention the mind-numbing pain that I get running through my brain about every hour. I can't sleep on my side becuase it hurts, and i can't sleep due to the pain either. Whats weird is I can hear everything that echos through my head, so taking a shower is trippy, since I hear the water running down the sides of my scalp. from the inside. Well have 5 more days of pills to take, so here's hoping.

the doggie. now I love Cube. the doggie in my life. If you keep updated on my bro Rays blog. or if I called you about it, you would know that due to a ruptured disc in his spinal cord, Cube had to go in for surgery. He stayed in the hospital about a week after in order to recover and then he was allowed home. At home, I had to do physical therapy on him in order to get him walking again. Now if you had to ever take care of a really sick creature, human or animal you might know what I had to go through. Usually they cannot speak to you, or they cannot understand what you are saying to them, so there is a barrier there. In order to ake care of Cube, I would have to give him his medication, usually having to stuff in into something. Carry him outside to let him go to the bathroom. the hard way. yep that means I need to squeeze his bladder from the sides in order to make him go. Sounds like fun. if you never met Cube. here's the best way to describe him. "he's cute, adorable, loving, and great... if he wasn't crazy" Like he growls at random times, and its hard to calm him down. But now I need to take him outside, try to do exercises on him before he bites me, come back in and clean him up, before he bites me, costantly wash and rotate the two blankets that currently line the bathtub, since that is where he sits. its like taking care of a baby... that bites. I have to constanly watch him. He doesn't do much, but I need to make sure that he doesn't try to jump over things, etc. And like I said. if I leave him hte the bathtub he gets lonely and whines.
he ain't stupid either
just a couple of days ago I found that he had opened the sliding door of the bathtub with his nose and was trying to jump over the side. I walked in when he was hanging over the edge. after that I had to find a way to lock the doors shut. its hard. seriously like I have a kid without any of the benefits. I don't really get much help, and no one listens to me on what to do to care for him. He's a smart dog and the stronger he gets the more you need to watch him. and he knows that I am the one who never lets him get away with anything, so he runs around whenever someone else is watching him. this sucks. and i don't know... i just don't know

I'm all PMS-y right now. (oh don't roll you eyes and give me.."too much info sam") this is my blog... and its a natural thing that we all go through. So annoyance skyrockets, and I cry at songs on the radio.(not really but... you know). But the pain of cramps. in addition to the headaches and pain of the ear infection.... yup yup... party in my body 'cept i'm not invited.

just found out right now that my boss, and APO advisior was hospitalized within the past few days. (my prayers are with you Darrell!)

need to pay National office money to take care of some pledge fees that were never sent in...

and yeah... me and money. Not super friends right now. seriously. Though I was okay for a little bit, and then the shit hit the fan I I didn't even get the warning to open my umbrella. The sucky thing about it is that I had the umbrella, just no one told me to open it. (if you know what happened you understand the methaphor, and if you don't-- don't worry about it)

so try to look on the brighter side.
money. i will survive... just unhappily for a while
doggie... he's getting really good at walking now... just kinda stumbly... like hes drunk or something
family is family... no matter what... and I love them. Focus on the good times and not the bad
soon i will start work... at least i have a job now
i got the internet back
hopefully the physical pain will go away soon.
good friends make the world go round--- special shout out to christina for calling me (more than once) from taiwan... makes me feel loved.
and life goes on
alot of times unfortunaely so... but life goes on